OCT 22nd-26th
What a nail-biter of a week! Although it appeared that most characters WERE NOT trapped in the collapsed underground parking structure of Jack's ill-fated Clear Springs casino, we were then reminded that HEL-LO this is daytime television and of course PRETTY MUCH everyone was buried in the methane ridden rubble.
We began with Sharon waking up, busty and dusty, alone and afraid in piles of concrete smashed into unfortunate luxury cars. Soon after, she stumbled across Jack and Nicholas who instantly began with escape plans. This caused major annoyances at the prison since Phyllis was only about twelve hours away from work release, but her fear of losing Nick made her start acting like she actually belonged behind bars. Meanwhile, although Sharon's leg was badly injured, the boys discovered a narrow route out of the debris, but only if one manly man was willing to hold up a giant pile of rubble to let the others crawl underneath at the sacrifice of themselves. Despite some major cock sparring, Jack drew the martyr straw and Sharon and Nick escaped with relative ease - yet somehow even though they had JUST taken a path DIRECTLY from Jack's location, the rescue team was somehow unable to find his old, retching body (and most of us were secretly cheering).
Meanwhile, Nicki and Victor (amongst other Genoa City citizens) tensely waited at the edge of the rescue teams efforts. Yet nothing was more scary than Nicki suddenly without her normal facepaint and we all realized that she might be just as old as Mrs. Chancellor. However, just as Nick and Sharon emerged safely, the rescue team reported that a young boy "Noah" was badly injured and also buried somewhere below...thus the melodrama ensued (and again we secretly cheered, this time with one of those big foam No. 1 hands).
So then we come across Maggie, Paul, Lauren, and Noah in an even more cramped and charred cavity. It was only because I like Lauren that I didn't completely pray to the gods that the entire area collapse upon itself and rid us of the other three douches..but the sacrifice might have been worth it... Although with Paul constantly comforting Lauren during her insipid panic attacks, it became clear that Maggie felt oh-so-left-out and that her Linda Hamilton-esque persona might not exactly be what Paul desires. But alas, the four were saved without any major issues other than Noah having to be rushed to the hospital to have his spleen removed (as if we cared).
Leaving us to discover Cane, JT, and poor old Mrs. Chancellor ALSO buried alive. After another bout of cock sparring on this one, the boys climbed deftly up an elevator shaft, leaving Mrs. C alone but supposedly safe, in order to alert a rescue team. Yet as muscles and soot were mingling with sweat man-sweat, Amber was suddenly seen fighting her way out of a crushed car...and even though she considered finding her career-saving designs, she realized that her hot ass is what really needed saving and she crawled across broken glass and hot wires until she stumbled upon Katherine. Heartwarming conversations ensued as the ladies awaited help, and Cane and Amber seemed to share SOMETHING special as he returned and rescued both his grandma and ex-wife.
And while this is all going on we are to assume Jack is basically left for dead because he writes this melodramatic letter to Sharon, thanking her for her love (i.e. her big voluptous boobs). Boo-hoo.
Meanwhile, above ground, JT suddenly realized that Victoria was still missing, and then a rescue working poured hot acid on the wound when he showed her crushed and disfigured Gucci bag recovered from the rubble. At that point, we discovered Victoria alone, but determined, in a tiny little cave of despair. But soon after, we heard a girly grunt as Professor Korbel pushed aside a piece of concrete and joined the party. Although with the lack of oxygen and apparent crappiness of the situation, Victor payed for a high-quality search camera that discovered the pair and just when Victoria laughed, "We're ok!" A GIANT and DEVASTATING explosion from the methane build up rocked the whole rescue camp and the hard-ass rescue coordinator immediately called off anymore recovery action. But in the second most gratifying moment of the week (we're almost to the first), Victor and his enormous balls ran inside to save his daughter...but instead stumbled upon Jack face down in the dirt. As he drags out Jack, JT then takes over and comes across Victoria and Adrian (who was crying like the art-fag he is for having a giant piece of rebar through his thigh). All seemed miraculously saved until just as Victoria emerged, smiling brightly, a piece of concrete fell and smacked her right in the head - knocking her unconscious.
So we end the week at the hospital, with Noah spleen-less, Jack appearing to be just fine, Victoria unconscious but the baby is well, and IN THE BEST MOMENT OF THE WEEK, Brad with giant bandages over his eyes that were damaged from the explosion! Serves the asshole right.
We were also returned to Genoa City with a long, drawn-out sex scene with (ugh) Paul and Maggie - but the post-coitus talk seemed relatively awkward and Maggie stroked the detectives chest hair as he discussed his intense connection with Lauren. Hmmm...
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Wide Cracks Need Filling...
OCT 15th - 19th
As I so APTLY predicted, all this filler material we have been tolerating so several weeks now was most DEFINITELY the calm before the storm. For the past week, in particular, we were suddenly whisked away to Clear Springs for almost ALL of the show, setting up a most delicious catastrophe to end our week.
BUT FIRST! As Phyllis has been diligently working to become a model inmate (using only one square of toilet paper and using her toothbrush for intended purposes only), our favorite prison bitch was granted work release; meaning that although she has to return to a minimum security prison each night, she will be going back to Newman during the day and able to return to the fabulous world of stilletos and cat fights. However, this comes just as Phyllis has been befriended by the prison Chaplain, who was coincidentally also the Chaplain for John Abbot during his hard-time, as well...which certainly fired up Michael, surely opening the possiblity that Jack's seedy manipulation of John's will to be revealed later on.
Then, after a ROUSING game of B-ball wherein Daniel and Amber took on Cane and Heather in a heated "you suck" battle, Cane and Heather totally made out on the court. Unfortunately Amber witnessed the tonguing by accident, but luckily it fueled her into action! She suddenly had new fashion designs to show Lauren and a mix tape of her singing (in real life this would only be possible with a handful of coke, but we'll accept it). And just when it seemed a new romance was in the mix, Cane remembered that he's supposed to be the show's playboy and began pining for Lily again. After a heartfelt conversation with Jill who told Cane that it's ok to love someone no matter HOW YOUNG (yeeeeahhh) or HOW OLD (eeeewwww) someone is, Cane called his young filly.
Meanwhile, Detective Maggie made yet another major blunder early in the week when she leaked to Jill that golden retriever hair was found on Ji-Min's body, making Jack the prime murder suspect. UHHH..HEL-LO! HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT VICTOR'S TRUSTY GOLDEN RETRIEVER, SABATO??!! Either way, this immediately lit a fire under Jill's ass as she decided to piously confront the Jackster and then proceeded to blab blab blab all over town town town, convincing most of the town that Jack is a cold-blooder wind-pipe crusher.
Then up at Clear Springs, JT was still running his undercover-brother investigation of possible construction kickbacks. When he mentioned to his supervisor (Carl the Janitor from the Breakfast Club) that he noticed the cement being poored incorrectly, he was quickly offered a promotion and some bribing cash, thus revealing that some secrets were definitely being circulated. Soon after, JT began checking the foundation of the Casino and parking structure only to find that the entire thing was completely crumbling apart. Cane and Mrs. Chancellor immediately inspected the work, as well, and agreed that all cracks and holes nneeded to be filled. Yes, Cane, I believe they do.
Poor aging Nicki also began having second thoughts about her divorce with Victor, however before she even had to opportunity to suggest he take her back, Victor played the asshole card and advised her that he was calling in the ENTIRE NVP loan. Shocked and devastated, Nicki and David went to EVERYONE for money, but to no avail. It seemed that no one feels comfortable handing over millions of dollars to an ex-stripper and her annoying pussy-whipped boyfriend...gee, I wonder why. But just as David was consoling Nicki at the construction site, they suddenly heard a HUUUGE crash and plumes of smokes and ash and broken building rose in the air...where we received an immediate cut to Sharon waking up in a pile of buried rubble.
So this is where everyone was left at this moment (cause pretty much everyone but Victor and Phyllis were up dilly-dallying in Clear Springs business):
Sharon, Jack, and Nick were together in the parking garage, and presumably Victoria and Adrian are also down below since they all just ran into each other - but we're not sure.
Cane, JT, and Mrs. C were down inspecting all of the villainous cracks.
Maggie, Paul, Lauren, and Noah are on their way to go fishing (this was not important enough to elaborate on due to its incredibly cheesy scenario).
Amber, Nicki, and David are all above ground.
Jill is drinking scotch, smoking a Virginia Slim, and dousing herself in Chanel No. 5 back at the Athletic Club.
So at this point, we can only imagine some interesting relationships will take shape this next week...but I have also been informed that SOMEONE WILL DIE. Who could it be? Your guess is as good as mine, but if Victoria loses her baby I think I will also spiral into depression because SHE DESERVES HAPPINESS, DAMMIT...suggestions?
As I so APTLY predicted, all this filler material we have been tolerating so several weeks now was most DEFINITELY the calm before the storm. For the past week, in particular, we were suddenly whisked away to Clear Springs for almost ALL of the show, setting up a most delicious catastrophe to end our week.
BUT FIRST! As Phyllis has been diligently working to become a model inmate (using only one square of toilet paper and using her toothbrush for intended purposes only), our favorite prison bitch was granted work release; meaning that although she has to return to a minimum security prison each night, she will be going back to Newman during the day and able to return to the fabulous world of stilletos and cat fights. However, this comes just as Phyllis has been befriended by the prison Chaplain, who was coincidentally also the Chaplain for John Abbot during his hard-time, as well...which certainly fired up Michael, surely opening the possiblity that Jack's seedy manipulation of John's will to be revealed later on.
Then, after a ROUSING game of B-ball wherein Daniel and Amber took on Cane and Heather in a heated "you suck" battle, Cane and Heather totally made out on the court. Unfortunately Amber witnessed the tonguing by accident, but luckily it fueled her into action! She suddenly had new fashion designs to show Lauren and a mix tape of her singing (in real life this would only be possible with a handful of coke, but we'll accept it). And just when it seemed a new romance was in the mix, Cane remembered that he's supposed to be the show's playboy and began pining for Lily again. After a heartfelt conversation with Jill who told Cane that it's ok to love someone no matter HOW YOUNG (yeeeeahhh) or HOW OLD (eeeewwww) someone is, Cane called his young filly.
Meanwhile, Detective Maggie made yet another major blunder early in the week when she leaked to Jill that golden retriever hair was found on Ji-Min's body, making Jack the prime murder suspect. UHHH..HEL-LO! HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT VICTOR'S TRUSTY GOLDEN RETRIEVER, SABATO??!! Either way, this immediately lit a fire under Jill's ass as she decided to piously confront the Jackster and then proceeded to blab blab blab all over town town town, convincing most of the town that Jack is a cold-blooder wind-pipe crusher.
Then up at Clear Springs, JT was still running his undercover-brother investigation of possible construction kickbacks. When he mentioned to his supervisor (Carl the Janitor from the Breakfast Club) that he noticed the cement being poored incorrectly, he was quickly offered a promotion and some bribing cash, thus revealing that some secrets were definitely being circulated. Soon after, JT began checking the foundation of the Casino and parking structure only to find that the entire thing was completely crumbling apart. Cane and Mrs. Chancellor immediately inspected the work, as well, and agreed that all cracks and holes nneeded to be filled. Yes, Cane, I believe they do.
Poor aging Nicki also began having second thoughts about her divorce with Victor, however before she even had to opportunity to suggest he take her back, Victor played the asshole card and advised her that he was calling in the ENTIRE NVP loan. Shocked and devastated, Nicki and David went to EVERYONE for money, but to no avail. It seemed that no one feels comfortable handing over millions of dollars to an ex-stripper and her annoying pussy-whipped boyfriend...gee, I wonder why. But just as David was consoling Nicki at the construction site, they suddenly heard a HUUUGE crash and plumes of smokes and ash and broken building rose in the air...where we received an immediate cut to Sharon waking up in a pile of buried rubble.
So this is where everyone was left at this moment (cause pretty much everyone but Victor and Phyllis were up dilly-dallying in Clear Springs business):
Sharon, Jack, and Nick were together in the parking garage, and presumably Victoria and Adrian are also down below since they all just ran into each other - but we're not sure.
Cane, JT, and Mrs. C were down inspecting all of the villainous cracks.
Maggie, Paul, Lauren, and Noah are on their way to go fishing (this was not important enough to elaborate on due to its incredibly cheesy scenario).
Amber, Nicki, and David are all above ground.
Jill is drinking scotch, smoking a Virginia Slim, and dousing herself in Chanel No. 5 back at the Athletic Club.
So at this point, we can only imagine some interesting relationships will take shape this next week...but I have also been informed that SOMEONE WILL DIE. Who could it be? Your guess is as good as mine, but if Victoria loses her baby I think I will also spiral into depression because SHE DESERVES HAPPINESS, DAMMIT...suggestions?
Shack-Up Honeys
OCT 8th - 12th
OMG can something PLEEEEASE happen in Genoa City...is it really that much to ask that SOMEONE has hot sex with someone else's wife in a barn or an elevator rather than us having to feel that the intermittent denture commercials add more excitement?!
Anyway, Jack spent a lot of time this last week defending his whore of a wife, Sharon, while he also faced the possibility of losing his Senate seat over his involvement with owning and selling Jabot. And yet, this didn't keep Sharon from keeping friendly ties with Brad OR reminding Nick about their supposed co-planned benefit for Cassie.
Brad, on the otherhand, decided that he's not a total jackass and renewed his subscription for subsidizing Colleen's tuition and general shopping fund...and although proud and reluctant (that's right, Colleen! stand your ground!), Colleen agreed to accept dad's monetary assistance in favor of shucking her crappy job at the Athletic Club (which I'm sure still pays far more than my teacher salary). At the same time, Adrian also renewed his status as Professor Korbel and accepted a last minute teaching position back at GCU...under the stipulation that Colleen never takes one of his classes. But oh let's not worry about that, knowing the Professor's pension for young co-eds, I'm sure he'll find himself in trouble again.
Heather also found herself weasling around causing trouble everywhere she could this week, starting with her new buddy, Colleen. But once they were back at Colleen and Korbel's apartment (where they were supposedly going to talk about art and architecture and NOT dance around in nighties...just for clarification) Heather found a crappy knicknack that she SWORE was her ex-roomate's (the girl who killed herself and that Korbel got fired over). Korbel made up some lame excuse that Heather quickly debunked...and THEN her heavy flirting with Cane became too unbearable for both Lily (who is still in la-la-land) and poor Amber who was forced to serve them cappuccinos without scalding Heather's face off.
Heather and Detective Maggie have also team up to solve Ji-Min's death, which is now officially deemed a HOMICIDE once the coroner discovered bruises and defensive wounds on the corpse. Amber was quickly cleared since even though Heather and Maggie probably face sexism on a regular basis, they decided that Amber without a doubt was a stick and couldn't assault such a MUSCULAR MAN (sheesh). HOWEVER, Jack had much to gain from Ji-Min's death, and after a few lab tests, Maggie confirmed that hairs from Jack's dog were found on Ji-Min's body!
Clear Springs has also gotten a lot of location shooting, starting not only with JT's proposal to Victoria, but several characters have been seen having business meetings in the apparent ONE restaurant in town. With JT working undercover for Paul on shady business deals, the hounds are sniffing out David Chow as a possible suspect...which sounds good to me because that louse needs to either grow some testicles and stop being Nicki's lapdog, OR become so schemingly evil that I end up liking him. Either way, I hate him right now...and his stupid hair.
Nicki and Victor also relayed their parting divorce to the Newman children, who took it as more of a surprise than they should have...I mean, come on...Nicki is A SHACK UP HONEY (thanks Dr. Laura) and David is reaping the benefits of screwing a Newman.
And as Phyllis's appeal was rounding the corner, her agitation with Jana's persistent gossip appeared unbearable. As everyone was biting their fingernails for our favorite redhead to be called a freewoman, Michael received a devastating matter-of-fact letter stating her appeal had been denied...wherein Phyllis had ANOTHER freakout and practically fired Michael (Bitch, please, you blackmailed some people - what do you expect?). Anyway, while Jack and Victor are making some "important" calls to "important" people, Phyllis suddenly became best friends with Janna...including a hot gym date with hot prison jumpsuits...
And that's about it...will Phyllis ever get released?! Is Korbel a murderer like we initially thought?? Will an anvil fall on Nicki's head while she's visiting Clear Springs?! Will Detective Maggie and Karen ever hook up since they are such an obvious match?!?! Till next week...
ALSO!! If you've got some spare time, complete the survey on http://www.cbs.com/daytime/yr/ !!! It's a little long, but it's your chance to vent about how lame Noah is, that you want an old character back, and that you want to see more Gloria (or is that just me?).
OMG can something PLEEEEASE happen in Genoa City...is it really that much to ask that SOMEONE has hot sex with someone else's wife in a barn or an elevator rather than us having to feel that the intermittent denture commercials add more excitement?!
Anyway, Jack spent a lot of time this last week defending his whore of a wife, Sharon, while he also faced the possibility of losing his Senate seat over his involvement with owning and selling Jabot. And yet, this didn't keep Sharon from keeping friendly ties with Brad OR reminding Nick about their supposed co-planned benefit for Cassie.
Brad, on the otherhand, decided that he's not a total jackass and renewed his subscription for subsidizing Colleen's tuition and general shopping fund...and although proud and reluctant (that's right, Colleen! stand your ground!), Colleen agreed to accept dad's monetary assistance in favor of shucking her crappy job at the Athletic Club (which I'm sure still pays far more than my teacher salary). At the same time, Adrian also renewed his status as Professor Korbel and accepted a last minute teaching position back at GCU...under the stipulation that Colleen never takes one of his classes. But oh let's not worry about that, knowing the Professor's pension for young co-eds, I'm sure he'll find himself in trouble again.
Heather also found herself weasling around causing trouble everywhere she could this week, starting with her new buddy, Colleen. But once they were back at Colleen and Korbel's apartment (where they were supposedly going to talk about art and architecture and NOT dance around in nighties...just for clarification) Heather found a crappy knicknack that she SWORE was her ex-roomate's (the girl who killed herself and that Korbel got fired over). Korbel made up some lame excuse that Heather quickly debunked...and THEN her heavy flirting with Cane became too unbearable for both Lily (who is still in la-la-land) and poor Amber who was forced to serve them cappuccinos without scalding Heather's face off.
Heather and Detective Maggie have also team up to solve Ji-Min's death, which is now officially deemed a HOMICIDE once the coroner discovered bruises and defensive wounds on the corpse. Amber was quickly cleared since even though Heather and Maggie probably face sexism on a regular basis, they decided that Amber without a doubt was a stick and couldn't assault such a MUSCULAR MAN (sheesh). HOWEVER, Jack had much to gain from Ji-Min's death, and after a few lab tests, Maggie confirmed that hairs from Jack's dog were found on Ji-Min's body!
Clear Springs has also gotten a lot of location shooting, starting not only with JT's proposal to Victoria, but several characters have been seen having business meetings in the apparent ONE restaurant in town. With JT working undercover for Paul on shady business deals, the hounds are sniffing out David Chow as a possible suspect...which sounds good to me because that louse needs to either grow some testicles and stop being Nicki's lapdog, OR become so schemingly evil that I end up liking him. Either way, I hate him right now...and his stupid hair.
Nicki and Victor also relayed their parting divorce to the Newman children, who took it as more of a surprise than they should have...I mean, come on...Nicki is A SHACK UP HONEY (thanks Dr. Laura) and David is reaping the benefits of screwing a Newman.
And as Phyllis's appeal was rounding the corner, her agitation with Jana's persistent gossip appeared unbearable. As everyone was biting their fingernails for our favorite redhead to be called a freewoman, Michael received a devastating matter-of-fact letter stating her appeal had been denied...wherein Phyllis had ANOTHER freakout and practically fired Michael (Bitch, please, you blackmailed some people - what do you expect?). Anyway, while Jack and Victor are making some "important" calls to "important" people, Phyllis suddenly became best friends with Janna...including a hot gym date with hot prison jumpsuits...
And that's about it...will Phyllis ever get released?! Is Korbel a murderer like we initially thought?? Will an anvil fall on Nicki's head while she's visiting Clear Springs?! Will Detective Maggie and Karen ever hook up since they are such an obvious match?!?! Till next week...
ALSO!! If you've got some spare time, complete the survey on http://www.cbs.com/daytime/yr/ !!! It's a little long, but it's your chance to vent about how lame Noah is, that you want an old character back, and that you want to see more Gloria (or is that just me?).
Romantic Texting: the Wave of the Future
SEPT 24th - OCT 5th
Lordy I'm having such a terrible time keeping up! But in my defense, Genoa City has been innundated with "filler" material the last couple weeks, and we can only hope that this is the calm before the storm.
Regardless, a lot of relationships seemed to have ended while others began.
Just when it seemed Sharon and Jack had made up, Brad has been secretly and manipulatively plotting their demise. While in the break room at Newman, Brad keenly turned on the intercom into Jack's office and proceeded to pump Sharon about her kiss with Nick. Although Jack played it cool at work, he renewed his self-righteous attitude a la maison d'Abbot where he scolded Sharon about her lies and deceit...and general whoreishness. Naturally, Sharon being such a stupid spoiled slut, ran to Brad's shoulder, weeping in guilt; also leaving Jack to rough the ex-Navy Seal up a bit in front of the Newman elevator. It seemed as if things might have been finally over after Sharon repeatedly sucked up (and we allllll know how good she is a sucking) and eventually she and Senator Abbot made up over a romantic cheese pizza...yet simutaneously, Brad, feeling jilted and alone (like he deserves), was seen revealing Sharon's indiscretion to what appeared to be a reporter, which means clearly more storms are on their way in...
But somehow Colleen still has a soft spot for her soul-less father, as she unilaterally invited him to dinner at Adrian's, where the testosterone WOULD have been seeping out of the men's pores, except that the professor started speaking French and Brad remembered just how much he enjoyed beating the crap out of pansy nerds in his college days and decided to wait till next time to give Adrian a well-deserved hazing.
Meanwhile, Phyllis appeared to be surviving prison life quite well, that is until she discoved that her new cellmate COINCIDENTALLY happens to be Janna Hocks! That's right! And if you thought Janna was pushy and gossipy BEFORE, she's one hell of an annoyance now. As news of Sharon and Nick's indescretionary kiss was moving through the gossip trail, Nick came clean to Phyllis during visiting hours, bringing Phyllis to hate her life JUST a little bit more...but Nick's serious face was very convincing so Phyllis appeared to be ok...until Janna started prying and speculating to the point where she was ALMOST as annoying as Noah (Yah, believe it). The open wound was only further salted by Janna when Sharon ALSO came to visit Phyllis, where the claws were kept in, but only because of the extremely androgynous prison guard was nearby.
And as if we didn't know that Gloria was pathologically addicted to crime and deceit, she only proved it by involving herself in more scandal regarding the tainted Jabot creme case. It all started when Jeffrey "I'm going to become the evil twin someday" Bardwell announced to the widow that William had sent him a box of "goods" before departing...and in the box was a jar of creme and some latex gloves. Although it appeared Jefferey didn't EXACTLY know what the significance was, he still appeared all too congenial to give Gloria the creme after she made up some story about why she wanted it. Michael also relayed to his leopard-clad mother that Jeffery has secretly hired an attorney to challenge the estate ruling, in hopes of getting his hands on Gloria's cash. But surely the Jabot case is not over, and perhaps Gloria will also join Phyllis and Janna for a prison slumber party (which sounds like a great porno).
On another love front, Cane and Lily were hot for each other all week, but Cane kept Lily continually guessing when it seemed that EVERYWHERE they went, the Aussie stud was on a first name basis with every hot chick in town. Yet just when it seemed plausible that the duo would hit the sack, Cane realized just how underaged Lily is and politely declined to "tap that ass," leaving our recent divorcee pitifully rejected. Salt was also poured on Lily's wound when Neil inadvertenly invited Cane to a family dinner post-rejection and Cane told Lily that he was having "coffee" with that slut Heather...and he proceeded to break hearts all over the place as he and Heather flirted shamelessly at the Club in front of NOT ONLY Lily, but also Amber who was proverbially drowning her sorrows in white wine (just make a white wine/orange tic-tac combo, Amber, because the next morning is not very forgiving).
Yet while one love may have been quashed, a new one began, as JT got over his financial insecurity (which is such crap b/c doesn't anyone remember him having WILD DRUNKEN PARTIES with Britney and Billy and Raoul at his parents' mansion years ago??) and convinced Victoria to go away to Clear Springs for the weekend...yet it wasn't just a romantic get-away - no, no - because just as things were heating up on their first night, JT did what I never realized I wanted until now: HE PROPOSED TO VICTORIA THROUGH A TEXT MESSAGE. Damn he's romantic!! Anyway, despite some initial hesitation, Victoria accepted and they made sweet, sweet love all over their bed and breakfast.
But of course, Nicki and Victor haven't been doing well since Nicki decided to start sleeping with Master Douchebag himself, David Chow; who discovered that Victor has been drilling in Clear Springs so regardless of whether the revitalisation project succeeds or not, the Mustache stands to make a major profit either way. After realizing how sneaky and, yet sensible, Victor is, Nicki confronted her hubbie where a violent argument ensued...only to end in a final decision for DIVORCE. It was most apparent that Victor was lamenting the fact that his wife had become an UPPITY BITCH when the show closed with him dropping a single, sad tear.
Frankly, I don't know about the rest of you, but I sure hope something EXCITING happens soon or I'm about to put all of my effort into the "NOAH SUCKS" website I've been putting off (because he was annoying as hell all week but I didn't really want to revisit his role as "Prince Douchebag" on the show). Anything thoughts?
Lordy I'm having such a terrible time keeping up! But in my defense, Genoa City has been innundated with "filler" material the last couple weeks, and we can only hope that this is the calm before the storm.
Regardless, a lot of relationships seemed to have ended while others began.
Just when it seemed Sharon and Jack had made up, Brad has been secretly and manipulatively plotting their demise. While in the break room at Newman, Brad keenly turned on the intercom into Jack's office and proceeded to pump Sharon about her kiss with Nick. Although Jack played it cool at work, he renewed his self-righteous attitude a la maison d'Abbot where he scolded Sharon about her lies and deceit...and general whoreishness. Naturally, Sharon being such a stupid spoiled slut, ran to Brad's shoulder, weeping in guilt; also leaving Jack to rough the ex-Navy Seal up a bit in front of the Newman elevator. It seemed as if things might have been finally over after Sharon repeatedly sucked up (and we allllll know how good she is a sucking) and eventually she and Senator Abbot made up over a romantic cheese pizza...yet simutaneously, Brad, feeling jilted and alone (like he deserves), was seen revealing Sharon's indiscretion to what appeared to be a reporter, which means clearly more storms are on their way in...
But somehow Colleen still has a soft spot for her soul-less father, as she unilaterally invited him to dinner at Adrian's, where the testosterone WOULD have been seeping out of the men's pores, except that the professor started speaking French and Brad remembered just how much he enjoyed beating the crap out of pansy nerds in his college days and decided to wait till next time to give Adrian a well-deserved hazing.
Meanwhile, Phyllis appeared to be surviving prison life quite well, that is until she discoved that her new cellmate COINCIDENTALLY happens to be Janna Hocks! That's right! And if you thought Janna was pushy and gossipy BEFORE, she's one hell of an annoyance now. As news of Sharon and Nick's indescretionary kiss was moving through the gossip trail, Nick came clean to Phyllis during visiting hours, bringing Phyllis to hate her life JUST a little bit more...but Nick's serious face was very convincing so Phyllis appeared to be ok...until Janna started prying and speculating to the point where she was ALMOST as annoying as Noah (Yah, believe it). The open wound was only further salted by Janna when Sharon ALSO came to visit Phyllis, where the claws were kept in, but only because of the extremely androgynous prison guard was nearby.
And as if we didn't know that Gloria was pathologically addicted to crime and deceit, she only proved it by involving herself in more scandal regarding the tainted Jabot creme case. It all started when Jeffrey "I'm going to become the evil twin someday" Bardwell announced to the widow that William had sent him a box of "goods" before departing...and in the box was a jar of creme and some latex gloves. Although it appeared Jefferey didn't EXACTLY know what the significance was, he still appeared all too congenial to give Gloria the creme after she made up some story about why she wanted it. Michael also relayed to his leopard-clad mother that Jeffery has secretly hired an attorney to challenge the estate ruling, in hopes of getting his hands on Gloria's cash. But surely the Jabot case is not over, and perhaps Gloria will also join Phyllis and Janna for a prison slumber party (which sounds like a great porno).
On another love front, Cane and Lily were hot for each other all week, but Cane kept Lily continually guessing when it seemed that EVERYWHERE they went, the Aussie stud was on a first name basis with every hot chick in town. Yet just when it seemed plausible that the duo would hit the sack, Cane realized just how underaged Lily is and politely declined to "tap that ass," leaving our recent divorcee pitifully rejected. Salt was also poured on Lily's wound when Neil inadvertenly invited Cane to a family dinner post-rejection and Cane told Lily that he was having "coffee" with that slut Heather...and he proceeded to break hearts all over the place as he and Heather flirted shamelessly at the Club in front of NOT ONLY Lily, but also Amber who was proverbially drowning her sorrows in white wine (just make a white wine/orange tic-tac combo, Amber, because the next morning is not very forgiving).
Yet while one love may have been quashed, a new one began, as JT got over his financial insecurity (which is such crap b/c doesn't anyone remember him having WILD DRUNKEN PARTIES with Britney and Billy and Raoul at his parents' mansion years ago??) and convinced Victoria to go away to Clear Springs for the weekend...yet it wasn't just a romantic get-away - no, no - because just as things were heating up on their first night, JT did what I never realized I wanted until now: HE PROPOSED TO VICTORIA THROUGH A TEXT MESSAGE. Damn he's romantic!! Anyway, despite some initial hesitation, Victoria accepted and they made sweet, sweet love all over their bed and breakfast.
But of course, Nicki and Victor haven't been doing well since Nicki decided to start sleeping with Master Douchebag himself, David Chow; who discovered that Victor has been drilling in Clear Springs so regardless of whether the revitalisation project succeeds or not, the Mustache stands to make a major profit either way. After realizing how sneaky and, yet sensible, Victor is, Nicki confronted her hubbie where a violent argument ensued...only to end in a final decision for DIVORCE. It was most apparent that Victor was lamenting the fact that his wife had become an UPPITY BITCH when the show closed with him dropping a single, sad tear.
Frankly, I don't know about the rest of you, but I sure hope something EXCITING happens soon or I'm about to put all of my effort into the "NOAH SUCKS" website I've been putting off (because he was annoying as hell all week but I didn't really want to revisit his role as "Prince Douchebag" on the show). Anything thoughts?
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