Monday, August 4, 2008

RIP David Chow AND Sabrina Newman. We will miss one of you.

July 28th - August 1st, 2008

OMGWTF it was one hell of a week! And if you missed it, you're quite lucky you have the likes of me to update you on all the comings and GOINGS in Genoa City this week.

We left off with David and Sabrina heading home after the Gala, when suddenly their limo was forced off the road in a fiery accident. Upon hearing the news that David's limo hit the skids, Victor's immediate thought was make sure there were no injuries to Nicki's face (since he spent a lot of money on all that Botox), and he rushed to the scene. Upon arriving, he found the paramedics working on David and then found Sabrina's earring in the crumpled backseat. "WAS MY WIFE IN THE LIMO?!" he screamed to David, who managed a "Yessssssss...." and then in perhaps the single least exciting death on a soap opera, he died. KAPUTZ. GOOD RIDDANCE. MOVING ON, Victor and Michael Baldwin hauled ass the GC Hospital, where they found Sabrina, one seriously hot mess, including a lacerated liver and failing organs...oh yeah, and a dead unborn baby.

Meanwhile, Nicki was being treated down the hall after David drugged her with liquid morphine. Paul was cheerfully at her side, praising the fact that FOR ONCE he solved a mystery! He only left her side once, and it was only to buy a NWT Sherlock Holmes hat off eBay. Once word was spreading that Sabrina was all but roadkill and David tried to kill his wife, Nicki was feeling a might upset (good thing she had her Celestial Seasonings Peppermint Tea and some tasty Milano cookies). Nicholas and Victoria also tried to comfort their recently estranged dad, but he wanted nothing to do with the spoiled brats...however, with Victoria lamenting her lousy behavior of late, Sabrina agreed to see her old pal and they had a gay old time rehashing stories of hot Italian scooter boys...and then they remembered that Sabrina was dying *sad faces*. 

Daniel was also a COMPLETE asshole this week, starting where he made this heartfelt speech to Amber about how he didn't want to lose her, proceeded to jump her bones, and then changed his mind the next morning. This left Ambular in sobbing tears and we were all like, "Dude - he's DIRT! I'm totally gonna hook you up with the hot barista down the street..." Daniel is officially on my shit list. OFFICIALLY.

Chloe was also messing around all week, as she fabricated an ultrasound and tried to track down her baby daddy, Cane. Unfortunately, Lily answered the door and basically created this year's Emmy tape when she tore up the picture and threw it vehemently in Chloe's face - followed with a "Adifjadlfjalkdsfjalskdj!!!!!" and a door slam *BANG*! But since she's Genoa's new psycho, Chloe was basically unphased and clearly has a Plan B.

Heather also made a trek to Jabot and spilled the bad news to Jill that recently deceased David Chow was Ji-Min's murderer. She then proceeded to rip Nicki a new one, and Nicki was all, "My bad..." Meanwhile, Heather also agreed to look into the recent disappearance of Adam's ex, Skye, who took Chow for some major bucks in a fixed poker game. Then Adam, in a very serious voice, decided that he's going back to the name Victor Adam JR Newman (dramatic music ensues). And after SUCH a job well done, Heather was also gracious enough to accept her job back as Assistant District Attorney, whereas he rest of us would have crapped in a bag and left it on her boss's doorstep.

In the business world, Jack and Sharon were major slivers in Nick and Phyllis's hides as they continued to make "important" decisions without consulting the pair, as well as validate the TRASH article on Sabrina as she lay dying in a hospital bed. But come on - Really? would ANY ONE OF US gone into business such a town sleaze as Jack Abbot? REALLY?

So there's Sabrina, starting to look seriously less hot, but the doctor tells us that Sabrina is "putting up a good fight" and we are like, "YES! Sabrina might live!" and then BAM she dies. Like, no lead up; no angelic light; just a lot of dramatic CPR and she was OUT. After absorbing some of the shock, Victor went into VENGEFUL mode and vowed to find her killer, while Nicki secretly looked on from the door ajar, "My baddddd....."

So that's it. TWO big deaths this week, surely leading us to much more fallout in the coming months.